Post-election letter to President Obama

Dear President Obama,

Congratulations on your hard-fought victory in the election. Myself and over 57.5 million other voters didn’t think you deserved another term in the White House, but somehow, over 60 million people thought you did. It doesn’t make much sense to me, but what’s done is done. I certainly hope that you extend a hearty “Thank You” to all the media that did all they could to hide your many flaws, while magnifying those of Mr. Romney. They are the biggest reason you won. Between your negative campaign and the media’s bias, half of America thought Mitt Romney was truly evil.
What I want to do now, is ask that you do a few things that I think will get this country headed back to greatness. The following is a list of those requests:

1. Repeal Obamacare. To this day, a majority of Americans don’t want it. It’s the quickest and most effective way to show Americans that you want to do what’s best for the entire country, not just for you and the “47%” of Americans that depend on you for handouts.
2. Pass a budget. This is gonna be tough, since it will require you to work with Republicans, but you have to do it at least once during your 8 years as President.
3. Be honest for once. You’ve already been re-elected, so, for example, you can admit that you lied about Libya. Part of being a decent man is the ability to admit that you are wrong. I’ve never heard you do it, so right now, I just can’t believe anything you say.
4. Stop killing unborn children. Your love affair with Planned Parenthood just disgusts me. You insist on supporting them with government money, and some of that money is used for abortions. There are two things I just can’t understand about this. First, you claim to be a Christian. I don’t know how any Bible believing Christian can condone abortion. Second, abortions are nearly always an elective surgery. Why are my tax dollars paying for an elective surgery? As much as I would like it, I’m not naive enough to think Roe vs. Wade will get overturned, so either stop funding Planned Parenthood, or make it illegal for them to perform abortions. Require them to be done in a hospital; this may save some mothers from dying as a result of botched abortions as well.

I could keep going, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. Again, congratulations on your re-election. I’m looking forward to a better 4 years.

Very Respectfully,
The average conservative American